#syscourse question mark

[dreamergraveyard]

What's one thing y'all are lowkey tired of hearing about in conversations in cdd communities? Personally for me it's introjects. I'm just sooo tired of the same "introjects aren't their source and also autism causes introjects" conversation.

This post is NOT for endos to answer thank you 💕

[archangelscoven]

POV when a thought gets even slightly close to trying to make us doubt out systemhood

The random voice that could be someone specific or many of us or just that one audio:

"DO NOT"

Very convincing and awesome automatic defense system. Pun may or may not be intended.

[nosophoros-sys]

tw abuse ?? I think I just asked about a tactic of it im not sure if that’s worth putting a TW but I will do so anyway

question under cut

hey guys question and im not sure if it’s ok to post in communities im currently in.

what exactly is programming as in the abuse tactic and how do you know if you’re programmed or a programmed system ?

[ugly6astard]

ok. quick question. if im a sys who has 'trauma' but doesnt wanna identify with said 'trauma' (because i don't think and will never think it was 'traumatic' enough to form a system, and suspect in the near future my diagnosis will be reevaluated) to call themself "endogenic" ??? or is that problematic from a medical perspective -ciel

(syscourse dni)

[shilohbluecubed]

There's many different reasons systems might identify with having a core / original

For us personally, it's who fronted most of our childhood and identified with the body at some point or influenced our collective identity greatly

We have multiple cores and one original (the oldest sysmate we have)

And we don't consider them anymore important than others, we just find the classification helpful !

But instead what's not helpful for us and makes everyone feel less important is considering us all "parts" of a broken "whole", we're all whole people. (Ignoring fragments, of course)

You don't get to dictate how others describe themselves

It's perfectly valid for you to not want to use that language on yourself, it's okay for it to not be helpful for you

But it can help others and it's not very kind to assume the way things work for you is the way they work for everyone else

Every disordered system is different and finds different language helpful for their recovery !

「　REMNANTS ?!   ｣

➜ @ a term for an alter who isn’t the core/original, but rather the remains/remnants of who it was. whatever was left of the core who intergrated with fragments.

(mainly for RAMCOA/TBMC survivors)

[scapeg8ats]

(Sorry for this being a long post, it became a rant/vent and a lot of thoughts. Someday I'll shut up about this I SWEAR lol. There's a TL;DR at the end.)

Maybe I'm not even interested in syscourse outside of learning more about plurality and its connections outside of CDDs and why someone may see themselves as plural or really any way of not seeing oneself as One Singular Self (whether it has to do with a disorder or it's a cultural/religious/etc. reason). Or I guess that does make me interested in syscourse. Just not echo chamber syscourse.

Like I'm sorry but y'all are fucking mean. I LOVE having discussions where I can learn and understand other perspectives. I guess to steal SAS's label, I'm very pro-syscourse conversation (though—and this isn't to bash SAS AT ALL—to me that feels redundant because syscourse is supposed to be conversation anyway. But it's not so the label is necessary). I want to learn. I want to be educated. I want to discuss this, even with people who disagree with me, because I want knowledge of other perspectives.

But it is so hard to find syscourse spaces that AREN'T echo chamber syscourse spaces. The desire to attain knowledge is stomped out by attaching inherent morality to labels that can be boiled down to one argument: Do you or do you not believe that plurality is exclusive to CDDs?

And shockingly this has more nuance than "endos are/n't valid". What may cause someone to see themselves as plural without a CDD? And the answers are vast and could be a FASCINATING discussion. Not even necessarily a debate, just learning more about people. And yet the answer to this question isn't even considered before so many people just go "[extremely loud incorrect buzzer noise]" and shut it down.

Maybe, ironically, this is me struggling to understand perspective. But I don't understand the lack of interest in wanting to understand, despite having experienced it myself. And even that, I want to understand. But I know that the fact that because of the nature of my opinions, I would be marked pro-endo, and shut out of that discussion. And it's INFURIATING because I respect the fact that they don't want to interact with me but I just don't understand!

There is endless room for discussion that's shut out and it's frustrating. It's heartbreaking. I want there to be discussion. But there won't be until the echo chambers start to open their fucking eyes.

I remember the moment for me was when someone in the Twitter dissociatwt community who I really respected, who always provided good resources, who was reliable and kind and honest...was pro-syscourse conversation. And my knee-jerk reaction was almost betrayal. How could someone that I respected be a pro-endo??

But I realized that they didn't stop being reliable because of this. Some of y'all will discount doctors who have been studying plurality, trauma, and dissociation longer than some of you have been alive because they're a stinky smelly "pro-endo". Therapists and doctors and the like who go "Why isn't it possible" get discounted because of this when they, too, just want to understand. Because with all due respect and in the most positive way, they're a bunch of nerds. And I don't understand. I don't understand how you can do that.

And that's really the thing. I don't understand and I'm not given the space to understand because my stance is somehow morally wrong. I'm not virtue signaling right. Sometimes for both sides. And it's awful.

TL;DR, I don't understand and am frustrated by echo chamber syscourse. That's it. That's all this long-ass post is saying. I don't get it. It didn't need a post but a lot of me just started Talking and did not stop.

[mspaint-javascript]

HAI I AM FIRST NAME MSPAINT LAST NAME JAVASCRIPT call me MS :3 !!!! !

ME STUFF UNDER THE CUT

- im part of a plural system that is disordered and doesnt have much control over fronting etc yet. so I MIGHT.. be inactive a lot BUT THATS OK ✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️

- he/him and GO CRAZY WITH NEOS!!!!!! plzzzz. masc and neu terms? fem terms r ok too but im mostly masc :3

- if you bring syscourse to me ill eat youm WITH my teeth :/ if someone says their system is real IT IS !!! BITCH!!! ITS THEIR BRAIN NOT YOURS!!!!!!

- also i will eat you with my teeth if u are radqueer/transid/xenosatanist ALL THAT SHIT... go tf away!

- i swear and use caps a lot if U dont feel comfy w that maybe Do Not follow me........ i also use a lot of these :3 little guys @.w@

- i am Debatably human. human witha. question mark. h?man. im def alterhuman in some way LOL!

- bodily a minor, internally i Am also a minor. but like treat me normal. ok

- physically disabled + audhd + osdd

- cringe is awesome

- i love collecting silly userboxes and userboxes that help describe me ^w^

- send me whimsical songs , send me art that reminds you of me , tag me in labels that sound like me !!!!! PLZZZZZ :33

- some of my interests: coding (ill never learn bc we dont have time BUT ITS STILL COOL), picrew, weird whimsical n wacky art, plurality, transness, kitty cats, userbox hoarding, mogai, splatoon, LPS, and uhh other stuff but im still figuring out what i like :3333

TAGS:

#ms scribbles <- talk

#mspainting <- art

#ms hoard <- identities and labels, i rb A LOT OF THESE im a hoarder block it if u dont want me to cover ur dash w mogai

USERBOXES:

cringegenic, plural-this-user-is, userboxvariety, boxesforsys, inclusysboxes, genicpunk, chronicallyleggless, ix-c-999, wbfm, card-carrying-system, sweatpeauserboxes, sharkboxes, xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx

[thenightsystem]

Hi, we’re the night system!

I’ve seen this type of introduction post on other people’s pages so I decided to make one for us.

We’re the Night System, and our collective name is Nyx or Night. You can call us any of those. We currently have a fucking lot of known alters. (I dont want to keep updating this-host) I would do introductions but a lot of us are paranoid and/or don’t want to reveal our names to strangers. Some of us might, but it is up to the individual.

Some of us will mark our post with our role, our name, or some kind of identifier, but that isn’t a guarantee.

We have not been diagnosed, but we are a disordered system, I am not sure what kind, because of the amount of lying to each other that happens in this system, (consider this a call out assholes/insys) however we are more than likely an DID system.

This is not a place for syscourse. We do not fucking care what you have to say on this topic, do not bring it onto our blog. We will block anyone who does. All systems are welcome here, just don’t be a super huge dick.

I try to make sure that all appropriate content warnings are issued in tags, due to the fact that some of us have a tendency to vent anonymously. I cannot make any promises, but I will try.

If you want to be friends, feel free to message us. We could use some friends. You don’t even have to be a system, just don’t be a creep or an asshole and we can probably be friends. Don’t do anything super creepy, because the body is a minor, but also just because it’d be fucking weird. We will block you. Most of ya’ll should be good though. Heads up though, we are fairly paranoid so it might be hard to talk to us until we’e comfortable with you.

We can also answer questions about anything if you have any. No guarantees that the answers will be good, but you can ask.

If you know us irl, or you think you might, please leave. (This is directed specifically at just one system, so you should be good, but if we seem super familiar, and you know us by the night system, just leave. Love you guys, but mind your own business)

-the host

[mirrored-embrace]

welcome to this world of dreams . .

Hello! Call me Pixel. he/him and pip/pipself. Bodily 16yo, mentally 8yo*

*THIS DOES NOT MEAN that I have the intelligence or naivety of a real child. I’m just uncomfortable with adult responsibilities, or I forget I’m allowed to cook/drive, etc.

I am part of a system, although I won’t share our collective name for privacy’s sake. While I doubt the others would post here, it’s not guaranteed either.

I’m very very new to this community!! Please correct me on any terms I use wrong, and if I ask questions, be nice ..

DNI: anti selfship, anti proship, anti endo, syscourse, anti neopronouns, believers in npd, bpd, etc. abuse *Okay to Interact: people with same f/os, age related darkship, users of generative AI for artwork Interact: kin/ID doubles, proship, selfship, darkship, pro para, comp con, anything that isn’t listed above is completely okay for me! even controversial stuff, I don’t care * I don’t mind you talking or interacting, but I might not follow you or be the first one to start conversation

My IDs

CisID/Diagnoses: Korean, Asian, sh scars, depressed, OSDD system, generalized anxiety, ADHD, autism, paranoia, dermatillomania

TransID: trans boy, permasleepy, trans top surgery scars, PermaNocturnal, PermaComforted

Fictive Source: Hinomori Shiho (project sekai)

Fictionkin ID: Sunday (honkai star rail), Eva Tsunaka (project edens garden), Tighnari (genshin impact)

I personally don’t have a lot of “weird” trans IDs (by anti standards), but I don’t mind people that do. I’m a part of the community either way, and I’d love for you guys to interact!!

If you need any tips for any of my cis IDs, feel free to ask, I’m happy to answer

A list of my F/Os

Bold - completely nonsharing Italics - sharing, but iffy (ask before interacting) Nothing - completely sharing

*each category is separate. for example, if your romantic f/o is in my platonic category, that’s completely fine! it’s just iffy if we both have them as a romantic/platonic f/o

Romantic

Kinich: genshin

Wanderer: genshin

Dan Heng: honkai star rail

Jiaoqiu: honkai star rail

Mark: project edens garden

Hiroaki: tetro pink

Yumemizuki: genshin

Platonic

Ranpo: bungo stray dogs (brother)

Shizuku: project sekai (older sister)

Diana: project edens garden (friend/sister)

Damon: project edens garden (best friend)

Tag System

☁️ dreamscape ; general 🪽 the collective; asks ☁️ memories ; reblogs ☁️ the ninth cloud ; posts about my f/os 🪽 dreams afar ; scenarios for your f/os ☂️ shrouded by fog ; darkship posting 🫧 illusory appearance ; radqueer posting

Any mutuals or signed anons will be listed below.

n/a

[dreamergraveyard]

"I'm scared of being posted on syscringe" they're just a buncha reddit losers I promise it's nothing to be scared of 💕. Just don't acknowledge it if u r posted bc like they feed off tht shit. And also who r a buncha redditors to say ur cringe they're also cringe

[lenarasys]

Pinned post - introduction, stances & themes

So. How do pinned posts work /lh

First off: Introductions.

We usually don't do introductions, which means this may be extra awkward and certainly won't follow a specific pattern. We're a polyfragmented plural system of... frankly, entirely too many, and any number we could put here would be outdated within, at most, days. Despite the entire mess implied by that, we seem to be primarily monoconscious (it gets complicated), and we share one primary account. We are likely to switch between usage of "I" and "We" near-arbitrarily, outside of formal/discussion posts - which tend to be written with 'we'. We do not mark fronters due to not being able to keep track of who is actually at front bar approximate vibes.

Second: Stances

To start this off with the most contentious, we are pro-para, pro-radqueer, and proship. We are also pro-endo - Systems of all origins are welcome on this blog. We will decry anything that we see as bigotry (that is, any form of hate towards harmless things). Within above context(s), follows are not endorsment - we often follow someone because we saw one specific post, as we simply do not have the time or energy to try to sift through everyone's DNIs and/or recent posts. If we see someone we follow posting something we find to be bigotry, they will simply be unfollowed and blocked.

If any of these stances are an issue to you, block and move on! We are also open to questions about these stances - see the Ask section at the bottom of this post!

Third: Themes

We repost a variety of things, and are interested in a variety of things. Our focus may change over time. Posts we do ourselves may be tagged with a specific theme, but will not always be.

A general (but likely incomplete) list of themes you may find on our blog:

Within posts/reposts, you may find: Traumaposts (Such as non-sexual Empty Spaces Writing) Kink discussion posts Plurality-discussion Posts (and, very rarely, syscourse, unfortunately) Discussion and Information themed Asks, should we receive any Memes and Sillyness Political discussion / commentary Queerposting

Within likes (and, rarely, comments,) you may find: Everything that we might also repost Radqueer related discussions or posts More regular syscourse or syscourse commentary Para-related posts Term and Flag Coining posts More outwards sexual or horny writing or posts

Fourth (Bonus): Asks

Whilst we do not expect to get any asks anytime soon, if ever, we would like to pose the following 'guidelines' / rules:

We are broke. This is unlikely to change anytime soon. Further, we cannot verify whether or not a donation request is made-up or real. Unfortunately, for these reasons, we are not comfortable responding to or sharing donation requests, regardless of reason.

We may establish a set of "ask-tags", so that it is easier for us to tell which theme/topic an ask is about. Until we have done so clearly in a post, we ask that asks be tagged for the topic they are about - so asks about radqueer stuff get tagged radqueer, plural stuff get tagged plurality, etc. Do this by simply writing "Topic: [Topic]" or "This is about this and that theme" at the top of the ask post. (This is optional, and we will still respond to asks that do not do this.)

Inflammatory or otherwise outwards hostile asks are not welcome. If a genuine question is posed and can be answered, or an argument can be countered, we may still answer these, but expect us to ignore thinly-veiled hateposting. Thus, try to keep a neutral tone if you ask us to clarify on something - or for our opinion on someting - which you already dislike/hate.

Should we ever be involved in any specific drama: Know that your asks cannot hurt us, and likely never will.

[official-gmail]

SUBJECT: The DSM

Hello!

I’m a DID system, currently diagnosed using the DSM (as opposed to the ICD). I wanted to let you know that the reason trauma is not listed in the DSM as criteria for DID is due to the fact that most DID systems do not know their trauma. It would be impossible to verify if a system has the prerequisite trauma if they cannot remember it. It’s not as if my parent’s abuse was the kind that left physical life-long marks, after all.

I think it’s foolish to use a medical diagnostic manual to try to support endogenic systems. Don’t they exist beyond medical diagnosis? Aren’t the majority of endogenic systems nondisordered? Why bring up the DID diagnostic criteria at all?

(I also hope you don’t get bogged down in syscourse and anon hate. Good luck!)

Sincerely,

Anonymous DID System

SUBJECT: Anon Hate

Hello! Thank you for the kind, respectful questions. You are trying to understand and I can respect that.

We bring it up because it's usually one of the biggest causes of syscourse. Diagnosis and trauma are major issues and we have learned, in our experience, that it's the easiest way to shut people like this up.

We would link to further resources like the Krisses essays, or PowerToThePlurals, but we are unsure that this person is intelligent enough to understand the resources.

We also understand that the majority of endogenic systems are non-disordered, but we've had one too many arguments where the other person ignored the existence of non-disordered systems altogether.

I apologize if our response came across as in bad faith! We are still learning and trying to understand. Thank you for informing us - we will do more research and improve our crisis handling protocol according to our findings.

Respectfully,

Tim Portent and Jun Read

[many-cdd-info]

SysCourse Myth: 「 OSDD1a & OSDD1b Are Diagnoses 」

☆ DiSCLAiMER ☆ [ please read before engaging ]

While many plurals, multiples, systems, collectives, &etc, use OSDD1a and OSDD1b as descriptors for their systems, these are not actually a diagnosis a system can go out and get. While OSDD is a diagnosis that exists, OSDD1a, OSDD1b, OSDD2, OSDD3 and OSDD4 are NOT diagnoses. Instead, they're examples listed in the DSM-V as ways OSDD may present in a patient.

For some context; DDNOS (dissociative disorder not otherwise specified) was split into three different diagnoses from the DSM-IV to the DSM-V. Part of the original DDNOS criteria got moved into the DSM-V DID diagnostic criteria to expand it, part of it become the OSDD diagnostic criteria, and some of it became the UDD diagnostic criteria.

While a lot of online sources for the OSDD diagnostic criteria don't make it clear that the "subtypes" are actually examples, there are sources online that directly quote the DSM-V and clear up the confusion.

✧ Source #1 — 「 Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder and DDNOS 」

"Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder is a diagnosis which was introduced in the DSM-5 psychiatric manual, released in 2013. Along with Unspecified Dissociative Disorder it replaces the diagnosis of Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS).

DSM-V Diagnostic Criteria

This category applies to presentations in which symptoms characteristic of a dissociative disorder that cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning predominate but do not meet the full criteria for any of the disorders in the dissociative disorders diagnostic class. The other specified dissociative disorder category is used in situations in which the clinician chooses to specify reason that the presentation does not meet the criteria for any specific dissociative disorder. This is done by recording "other specified dissociative disorder" followed by the specific reason (e.g., "dissociative trance").

Example presentations that can be specified using the "other specified" designation include the following:

Chronic and recurring syndromes of mixed dissociative symptoms. This category includes identity disturbance associated with less than marked discontinuities in sense of self and agency, or alterations of identity or episodes of possession in an individual who reports no dissociative amnesia.

Identity disturbance due to prolonged and intense coercive persuasion: Individuals who have been subjected to intense coercive persuasion (e.g., brainwashing, thought reform, indoctrination while captive, torture, long-term political imprisonment, recruitment by sects/cults or by terror organizations) may present with prolonged changes in, or conscious questions of, their identity.

Acute dissociative reactions to stressful events: This category is for acute, transient conditions that typically last less than 1 month, and sometimes only a few hours or days. These conditions are characterized by constriction of consciousness; depersonalization; derealization; perceptual disturbances (e.g., time slowing, macropsia); micro-amnesias; transient stupor; and/or alterations in sensory-motor functioning (e.g., analgesia, paralysis).

Dissociative trance: This condition is characterized by an acute narrowing or complete loss of awareness of immediate surroundings that manifest as profound unresponsiveness or insensitivity to environmental stimuli. May be accompanied by minor stereotyped behaviors of which the individual is unaware and/or that he or she cannot control, as well as transient paralysis or loss of consciousness. The dissociative trance is not a normal part of a broadly accepted collective cultural or religious practice. "

Ganser's syndrome (the giving and receiving of approximate answers) is described as fitting within this category, despite not appearing as an example presentation.

OSDD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, and DDNOS1

The first example presentation of Other Specified Dissociative Disorder is very similar to the DSM-IV's first example of Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS). Both these describe a form of complex dissociative disorder which is very similar to Dissociative Identity Disorder, but falls just short of meeting the criteria. OSDD example 1 is either identity disturbance with less distinct parts than in Dissociative Identity Disorder (they cannot physically take executive control over the person's body, but strongly influence the person's thoughts and actions and amnesia is present), known as DDNOS-1a, or distinct dissociative parts (alters or alternate identities) exist and can take executive control, but without amnesia, known as DDNOS-1b. However, the slightly changed wording for Dissociative Identity Disorder means that some people who previously were diagnosed as DDNOS-1 will now be diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. The two relevant changes involve the fact that identity alteration (changing identities between different personality states/alters/alter identities) can be self-reported or reported by a family member of friend rather than just clinical staff, and secondly a slight broadening of the amnesia criterion."

✦ Source #2 — 「 Dissociative Identity Disorder and Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) 」

"Other specified dissociative disorder (OSDD) is a relatively new diagnosable dissociative disorder that was recently established with the publication of the diagnostic and statistical manual fifth edition (DSM-5). OSDD was previously grouped under Dissociative Disorders Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS), which was subsequently broken up and recategorized into several dissociative disorders. OSDD can be characterized as a dissociative disorder that does not meet the full diagnostic criteria for dissociative identity disorder (DID). Furthermore, the DSM-5 lists four examples under OSDD to assist clinicians in recognizing conditions. The examples listed under the OSDD category includes (a) chronic and recurrent syndromes of mixed dissociative symptoms, (b) dissociation due to coercive persuasion, (c) acute dissociative reactions, and (d) dissociative trance disorder. The following chapter discusses the etiology, epidemiology, clinical manifestations, differential diagnosis, and management of OSDD."

While OSDD1a and OSDD1b aren't clinical terms, they do tend to get used online as a sort of "shorthand", where OSDD1a is used to mean "median system" and OSDD1b is used to mean "low/no barriers between members". That's fine. It's fine to use these like labels. It's just important to know that you can't actually go get diagnosed with OSDD1a or OSDD1b.

It's also important to know that OSDD1a isn't a "lesser trauma response" to "lesser trauma" compared to OSDD1b and DID, and that DID isn't an "extreme trauma response" to "extreme trauma" compared to OSDD1a and OSDD1b. It's actually debated within the psychiatry field as to whether OSDD and DID even need to be two separate diagnoses, or if they should be combined into one. If PMSC& want to use "OSDD1a" and OSDD1b" to easily convey their experiences, and find others like them, that's fine. But don't use these not medically recognized labels to create a false hierarchy to denote how bad someone's trauma is.

If you've ever wondered why there's not a lot of information about OSDD1a and OSDD1b, this is why. If you've ever wondered why there's not a lot of info around OSDD, UDD or P-DID, it's because the difference between these three disorders and DID is arbitrary. Whatever is published about DID can easily apply to OSDD/P-DID and UDD (which is why OSDDID gets used as a tag). Remember, these disorders have way more in common than they do differences. An OSDD/P-DID or UDD system "using DID resources" is not trespassing or stealing, or co-opting or anything like that.

[thecircularsystem]

More awake now and not in hyperfixation buzz land, so let me try to reword (particularly for @livewithluv )

Many of you are trying to escape your trauma. You’re trying to push it away from you and distract from the bad things. And yes, that is a survival technique, and something many of us will need to do, or have needed to do in the past.

But in doing so, it should be acknowledged that how you handle this pushing away of trauma is going to impact your recovery; it leaves its marks.

And it’s not just about the trauma — it’s about everything related to systemhood that the individual deems as bad, cringe, or shameful.

For instance: this post was sparked by the innerworld discussions recently. I think that many of the people firmly saying, “No, innerworlds are JUST visualization and they AREN’T real, and saying they are is misinformation,” are actually just trying to push their own inner experiences (the innerworld space, or lack thereof, and the fact that they have Things In Their Head) out of the way, to lose focus on what is “cringe.”

But the side effects of this are often less integration, less knowledge of your other parts, and an increase of shame — none of which will help with recovery.

Another example would be the increase of trauma dumping I’ve seen recently. Even on fairly typical posts, I’m seeing people use severe and graphic trauma to “defend” themselves — and I’m seeing more and more, “DID is horrible because (very personal vent about very personal abuse).”

This feels like an attempt to get the trauma out, rather than accepting it and trying to learn how to carry it. And by pushing that trauma out, they’re just leaving it in piles around them, rather than addressing the problems.

I think this might be why many of the newer folks in syscourse are constantly yelling about DID being so miserable and not understanding why so many of the rest of us are finding positivity. They’re ashamed of their systemhood, of what’s been done to them, and rather than confronting that shame and learning to accept what’s happened, they’re listen to the shame and try to push it all away — which is, again, fantastic if you’re not ready to heal, or not in a position to work on recovery! It’s a way to survive. We’ve all been there.

But so many of the systems going off about this are, supposedly, trying to recover, hard at work in therapy, and trying to teach other systems how to integrate as well. And I worry that their methods rely on shame to be an activator, when that’s not how shame works.

For those curious about how to work on recovery while also surviving: You may have to push out the trauma and externalize it, but there’s healthier ways to do this. In my case, I pushed my shame and trauma and hate into two different parts — me and Rice. Rice could take the trauma, but she was just the dumping ground; I ended up holding it for her. But for me, I learned how to push away that trauma in the healthiest ways I could, and while I was never great at accepting my shame OR pushing it away, here’s some overall tips:

Don’t trauma dump online. Do that in private, preferably somewhere you can get rid of it. We learned quickly that putting our trauma dumps somewhere online meant that there would always be a record of it — and some of our parts would seek those records out to harm us more. We used a journal back in the day when we needed to vent, and then either threw the papers away at school, or burned them later in the fireplace at home, calling them, “Old homework sheets from ELA that I don’t need anymore.” This was normal in my family, so they didn’t question it.

Only vent to trustworthy sources. Venting to your friends is well and good, but know that if you share severe things with them, it can absolutely get out of hand. My close friend, worried about me, reported my emotional breakdown to counseling. Make it clear what you need to survive in the moment if you want to really vent.

Trusting people online is inherently unsafe — and that’s okay. I had three incredibly close online friends when I was going through the worst of my abuse, and I credit them for keeping me alive. But… they also incredibly hurt me, I realize. The drama, infighting, and betrayals were constant. I trusted them with my life, and I got burned… but I’m still standing. There was a time when I thought that drama would consume me, but it didn’t. I guess what I’m saying really goes into a good last point:

It’s okay to be unsafe. You’re allowed to do things that hurt you. Even the things I warned about not doing!! Because at the end of the day, as survivors, we are in a lot of unsafe situations. The key aspect of recovery is learning how to tolerate some level of risk, fear, anger, or other things that set off the alarm bells in our brains. So, if you are consciously making choices right now in the midst of survival that you KNOW are hurting you… My one big request would be to try to think, “Do I need this to survive? Or can I find a healthier way?” And if the answer is, “I need this,” then do it.

The key to survival is surviving, through any means necessary. The key to starting recovery is learning to survive in healthy ways.

I rambled woops — I hope this made any sense.

Not a full post, but something something, "A lot of you are trying to push Everything You Deem Is Bad out of you in order to heal, not realizing you're just trailing it through your home now"

[oopsallfictives]

Fictive Etiquette Guide

One of the things we’ve noticed as a fictive heavy system is that a lot of singlets have no idea how to talk to fictives. When one of us whose pluralkit proxy obviously marks us as a fictive sends a message in a predominantly singlet discord server, there’s this odd thing that happens where the conversation stalls for seemingly no reason. Especially if we mention something related to being a fictive.

We don’t think this is out of malice, it’s just awkwardness. People who’ve had very little interaction with the plural community aren’t likely to know how to talk to fictives. The short answer to that is to talk to us like people, but we thought we’d write out some tips to help our well-meaning but uninformed singlet friends. Disclaimer that we’re just one system, and these tips come from our own experiences. We can’t speak for other systems

Tip 1: We aren’t RPers or ask blogs, don’t ask us questions like we are. We won’t be answering from the perspective of our source characters, but from the perspective of a person who exists in this world and happens to have some things in common with that character. Apply the same rules you would if you were asking a non-fictive about their life

Tip 2: When we talk about our exomemories, that’s not an invitation to treat them like our source media. Don’t try to analyze them like a piece of media, or make light of our trauma. Those memories feel as real to us as yours do to you, be respectful

Tip 3: Don’t fangirl over us. We aren’t your favorite character come to life. Seriously, this is just weird and uncomfortable. Also, don’t bring up your ships that involve our source characters to us

Tip 4: If we’re in a fandom space, assume we’re comfortable there. We can make our own decisions about how and when (and if) we want to engage with our source’s fandom. We may leave suddenly if things get weird or uncomfortable, but that’s just us looking after ourselves without derailing the conversation. Generally though, don’t feel the need to modify your discussions on our account unless we ask you to

Tip 5: We aren’t some sideshow attraction to be gawked at. If you think of our identities as weird or cringey, that’s going to show in your interactions with us, and it always sucks. Your internal feelings about fictives are something for you to work through, don’t expect us to put up with you treating us like a freak show

Tip 6: Don’t judge us by our source characters. We didn’t get a say in it, neither did anyone else in our system. Having a fictive of a character doesn’t mean the system likes that character or condones their canon actions. Depending on the system, it might not even mean we know very much about that character. Some systems (like ours) will sometimes get fictives of characters we know very little about

Tip 7: Don’t assume we’re the same as our source characters. We might be very similar, or we might be nothing at all like them. Our exomemories could be drastically different, or we could come from an AU. Our personality, gender, sexuality, and personal history might be different than you expect. Also, don’t judge our identities the way you would a headcanon. If our source character is bi but we’re gay, that’s not bi erasure

Tip 8: We’re people first, fictives second. Start there, with the understanding that we’re not really all that different from the non-fictives in our system that you’ve already talked to. It doesn’t have to be awkward

This isn’t a comprehensive list, it’s just a few tips based on our experiences being openly plural and fictive heavy online. Other fictives, feel free to add your own tips, or things you wish singlets knew or understood. Just don’t get syscourse-y, we don’t wanna deal with that

[funnierasafictive]

Welcome to the blog! Just a little corner for us to reblog posts that would hit different as a fictive. It doesn’t mean we’ll be reblogging random fanart, this is about general posts people make, that might make you go “jokes on you I AM that character” or “This already happens since they live in my brain”!

We don’t usually create DNI’s, but since this is going to be a very community-based blog, here’s some things to know before you go + other info/FAQ!

Also, here's our personal list of Palestinian Campaigns 🇵🇸

This blog is NOT welcome to syscourse. To be straightforward, this is a place welcome for all system types and origins. We can’t control who interacts from us, but if you do not like endogenic supporters, then this is your heads up!

We are not therapists or professionals! But we’re happy to answer small questions if it ever comes up! This blog is also run by one system, and it’s for fun and nothing serious! Expect inconsistent activity.

We are more likely to respond to asks than DM’s. You can still send us posts in a DM, but we just might not respond! We see all our messages though and what you send/recommend :-] If we don’t respond to your ask: I am very sorry! We must have forgotten and then it’s been too long that we feel awkward about getting back to it. We try to answer all our asks, though!

Our entire system will be reblogging to this blog so I don’t think we’ll tag who reblogs who since we only have one purpose here. But if we ever make posts or answer things we’ll probably mark who is who. Some of us have typing quirks!

If we don’t reblog something you tagged us in, it’s probably because we reblogged it from someone else and it’s currently in our queue, or we’ve already reblogged it in the past! If enough people tag us in something we’ve already reblogged before, we usually tag them as #reruns.

Another but less common reason is that the post probably feels too system-general for a very fictive-mood. Not that it can’t be applied to fictives; it just seems like a post that might better fit @/funnier-as-a-system.

While we know fictives, fictionkin, and DA’s, are not the same, everyone is still allowed to relate to and reblog the posts from this blog, of course. This blog is just fictive-first, especially since none of us have kins, and the people running this are fictives.

Lastly, when tagging us, consider if a post might be more suitable for @ funnier-as-a-system instead!

*Based on our understanding, we are not comfortable with the terms proshippers and proship. If you wish not to interact with us because of that, that is alright. If you want to still interact with us despite this, that is your choice. This information is not related to fictives in systems, and the relationships that can happen between them.

If you have tagged us in a post, Thank You! We might not say it every single time we reblog something, but we always think it.